Affair-proofing your relationship
Doing things to protect your relationship won't guarantee your partner will never have an affair, but it may reduce the chances.
Good relationships don’t just happen. Be prepared to invest time and effort in your marriage. Read books, search for help on the Internet, etc.
Try www.divorcebusting.com and www.2-in-2-1.co.uk for helpful suggestions and www.marriagepartnership.com for lots of useful articles on hundreds of topics,.
· Listen to each other and be interested in each other’s lives.
· Discover how to soothe and comfort each other when life is stressful, sad or painful.
· Regularly do things that help your partner to feel very loved and special. See the Flourishing section of this website.
· Talk positively to others about your partner and your relationship.
· Strengthen your relationship with each other by having dates and fun together, listening to each other’s hopes and dreams, and doing what helps the other person to feel special and loved.
· Some couples grow closer by working on a project or hobby together, such as doing up an old piece of furniture, gardening, or rambling.
· Avoid being alone with someone you find attractive.
· If you find yourself attracted to someone else, imagine they have a very contagious terminal illness, or something else that will put you off becoming close to them.
· Try couple therapy or counseling, such as Relate counseling, as part of the post-affair healing process, just as you’d have physiotherapy after a broken leg. www.relate.org.uk
Karen Holford - adapted from 'Earthquakes of the Heart'