Grandparents
Here's Karen Holford's ideas on how to be a "great" grandparent! She has been doing that job for just a year, but we think she's got the hang of it pretty well!!
1. Tell your children great family stories that give them a sense of their roots.
2. Start a tradition of finding a new, good joke to tell your grandchild each week. They will really enjoy having new jokes to tell and they’ll probably find some new ones to share with you, too. Laughing together builds strong bonds, and happy memories.
3. If you live away from your grandchildren, write encouraging letters, or send cheerful postcards and fun emails. Children love to get something in the post.
4. Telephone your grandchildren, just to speak to them.
5. Find things your grandchildren enjoy, or topics in which they are interested, and look out for tiny books, articles in magazines, etc, to send to them.
6. Encourage your grandchildren to have hobbies, creative, active or musical, etc. Being good at something builds self-confidence and really helps children when they hit the teenage years, as it can give them positive social experiences in organised clubs, orchestras, etc.
7. Keep your promises to your grandchildren. Let them know they can trust you.
8. Make something together with your grandchildren, a cake, a rabbit hutch, a loaf of bread, a garden, etc. This will give your grandchild a special memory of time spent with you, and they will feel proud of what you made together.
9. If grandchildren often come to visit, give them a special place that is theirs, or special toys to play with, or a drawer, a box, a bed, a chair, etc. It lets them know they always have a place with you, and that you think about them when they are not with you.
10. Make a video for your grandchildren telling your life story, or even a small book, with photographs.
11. Create traditions together with your grandchild, special places you visit annually, special food you always make when they come, etc.
12. Avoid criticising your grandchildren. Find something positive to say instead. Criticism will alienate them from you.
13. Children love little surprises. The surprise can be very tiny, but it will often mean just as much. It may be a tiny gift, a treat, or going out for pizza. Whatever it is make sure it is something they will enjoy.
14. Time is more important than money to your grandchildren. They enjoy someone who has the time to play football with them, read to them, tell them stories, and walk in the park. Children need someone who will spend time really listening to them.
15. If a grandchild says or does something inappropriate, which needs correction, do so, but in a fun, non-threatening way. Say ‘I’ll pretend I didn’t hear that! Would you like another chance?!’ or something to that effect.
16. Encourage your grandchildren to aim high and be the best they can be. Give them all the tools, encouragement and guidance necessary. Give them mini-challenges – questions to find answers for, words to spell, etc. Believe in them, and never reject them, no matter what they do, or what happens to their family. You are there to give them a secure base of unconditional love.
17. If your grandchild’s home has been broken by any kind of event or tragedy, you need to be more supportive and wiser than ever. Help the children realise that it was not their fault their parents divorced, or that one parent died. Give them a place where they can be free from stress, and where people listen to their feelings. Never criticise either parent unless there has been obvious abuse. If a child has lost a parent, they have a greater need for grandparents to be there for them and offer good role models/
Karen Holford