Why is it sometimes hard to talk?
We can only know each other well if we feel safe enough to talk to each other an tell each other more about ourselves. Trusting each other enough to talk is an important part of deepening our relationships with each other.
What are some of the things that might stop us from sharing deeply with each other?
- Too busy
- Not enough time and space to talk together without interruptions
- Too many superficial and everyday things to talk about
- Fear that the other person will reject us if we’re honest with them
- Fear of looking foolish and feeling stupid, or being ridiculed.
- Fear that what we say may be held against us
- Fear of hurting the other person
- Fear of the other person’s response to us
- Fear of being misunderstood
- Thinking something will get better quicker if you just leave it alone and don't mention it.
- Not having had much opportunity to talk about personal feelings and thoughts before
- Difficulty finding the ‘right’ words to use to express yourself well
- Talking to friends about personal and emotional things so you don’t feel such a strong need to talk to your partner about them
- Any other ideas of your own?
Which of the above ideas do you think might stop your partner from talking to you about the things that are important to them?
What could you do to make it safe for your partner to talk to you about what matters to them, such as their fears, hopes, and concerns?
What do you appreciate most about the way your partner listens to you?
What do you appreciate most about the way your partner talks to you?
What holds you back from talking to your partner about the things that matter to you, or that you’re concerned about?
What could your partner do to help you feel safe talking about your fears, hopes and concerns?
How can you show your partner how much you love them by the way you talk and listen?
What areas do you need to spend more time talking about together?
What can you do to make it easier for you both to find the time to talk more?