Long Distance Relationships
Meeting your friends or future partner used to require a face to face meeting. In just a few years, perhaps the majority of new relationships are begun on the internet. But this page is also about other patterns of keeping your relationship going over a distance. Family members may work for long periods away from home, or be in boarding school, or on long gap years abroad. Family members and friends may just live a long way away or on another continent. The internet is, of course, an astonishing miracle tool to bridge these gaps. Here Karen Holford suggests some more ways to keep your long distance relationships working well.
Study, work, travel, emigration and re-arranged families can separate us from those we love. We can be on the other side of the world to our grandchildren, partners and parents, friends and fiancés. But Skype, Internet, modern technologies, and plain, old-fashioned Royal Mail provide loads of fun and interesting ways to be together across the miles. Phoning and emailing is good, but why not play a game together; create fun activities for each other; send each other crazy messages; watch movies together; or spy on the pandas in a zoo…?
Free Videophoning!
Skype and other voice-over-internet services mean we can have face-to-face chats all over the world for free! Download Skype from www.skype.com and find help to get you started.
Try watching the same film when you Skype, so you can chat about it and laugh together.
Karen has fun playing Peekaboo and ‘Where’s the squeaky duck?’ when she’s Skyping with her baby granddaughter…
Book Clubbing
Choose a book you both want to read. Read one chapter at a time and then write 3-5 questions you’d like to ask the other person. Email each other your questions and your answers to their questions. Then read the next chapter.
Or find ideas for books and questions on www.readinggroupguides.com
Under the mMoon
If you both have night at the same time, go outside and look at the moon together. Talk to each other by phone under the same stars.
Design a Puzzle
Create a word-search or crossword puzzle at www.armoredpenguin.com. using words that describe the other person. Then mail or email them to each other.
Or download the same crossword and work on it together, sending answers by text, Skype or email, etc.
Presents of Mind
Search the Internet for amazing presents you’d like to give each other, if only you could! Send each other a link to the presents you choose and remember that it’s the thought that counts! Or set a limit and find the best gift on the Internet for under £20.00.
Virtual visits
Tour a virtual art gallery or museum together. You can see the different pictures and discuss them together. If you lose each other and find you’re not on the same web page, just email each other the URL) for the page you’re on.
That’s ‘Pinterest’ing!
www.pinterest.com lets you create virtual ‘pinboards’ of any pictures you find on the Internet, or you can upload your own. It’s free, and you can create as many pinboards as you like. You can also see other people’s ‘pins’ under dozens of headings (like humour, sport, books, children’s activities, home décor and special events) and add the ones you like to your own boards. You can share pinboards and write comments and messages to each other. You can plan a party or even a wedding together by adding ideas you each like to your shared boards. Or use it to create gift wishlists, ideas of places to go, recipe collections, or home design ideas.
You’ve Got Mail!
People of any age love to get letters. A comic or magazine; a cartoon cut from a newspaper; a quiz you’ve made up for them to complete; a small book you found in a charity shop; a gift card for their favourite store; a message written on a heart and cut into puzzle pieces for them to reassemble; a postcard, etc.
Chain Reaction
Start a chain story that can be emailed back and forth. Send a starter sentence and take it in turns to add sentences or paragraphs to create a crazy story. Add a challenge by suggesting a strange item or weird word that has to be included in the next sentence or paragraph.
Create a Family Tree
Make a family tree together. There’s a free printable family tree maker at www.familyecho.com
Watch the World Together
Visit www.earthcam.com to find links to webcams all over the world. See New York from the Statue of Liberty or Times Square; watch chicks hatching; or spy on lions in an African safari park… You can choose which webcam to watch and you’ll both be watching the same thing at the same time. Set up a way to chat about what you see, or to play I-Spy together.
Send a Smile :)
Choose one joke a week to text to your children, grandchildren, or friends. Try www.cleanjoke.com, www.cleanjokes.net, www.cleanjokes4u.com, etc. You can also find funny pictures to email to each other. Or email funny photos to each other and try to come up with the funniest captions for them.
Ask Interesting Questions
Many people in long distance relationships find that there are times when their conversation become stale and boring. Use some sparky questions to put the life and fun back into talking together. Try www.relationshipquestions.net, or buy the Ungame in a charity shop www.ungame.com. Or buy a pack of 55 Couple Connect cards from www.2-in-2-1.co.uk/others/coupleconnect.html.
Ideas for Younger Children
Post a Project
Send project kits for something the child would love to do. Include the instructions and all the materials they need to make something fun. It may be helpful to cut and prepare the ‘kit’ parts as much as possible. Or you could have an identical kit and make something together on Skype.
Bedtime Story
Choose a delightful picture storybook and buy two copies (or borrow one from the library). Send one copy to the child and keep one for yourself. Once they’ve received their copy you can read it to them via Skype or telephone.
Karen has fun playing Peekaboo and ‘Where’s the squeaky duck?’ when she’s Skyping with her baby granddaughter…
I-Spy, In My Little Book …
Play I-Spy by phone or Skype, using two identical picture books. Look at the same double-page spread and ask each other to find things beginning with certain sounds, or things that are certain colours and shapes.
You’ve Got Mail!
Help children stay in touch by giving them a mail kit. Include pre-stamped envelopes with your address written on them and plain postcards that they can draw on and send to you. Create fill-in-the-blank letters for them to complete, to get them off a blank page, and to help you learn more about their lives: ‘Today my best friend and I…’ ‘My happiest moment today was…’ etc. Add stickers and other bits and bobs to make it really fun.
Other Useful Websites
www.lovingfromadistance.com - 100 fun and creative ideas for loving couples separated by distance
www.family.go.com - hundreds of creative ideas from Disney for all kinds of situations and activities – some could be boxed up and sent to a child.